{"id":104,"date":"2012-04-02T03:48:00","date_gmt":"2012-04-02T03:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/originalorknot.com\/?p=104"},"modified":"2015-04-05T15:20:06","modified_gmt":"2015-04-05T20:20:06","slug":"tweets","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/originalorknot.com\/?p=104","title":{"rendered":"Tweets"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Last thing on Sunday night I thought I&#8217;d share some of my favorite tweets. I thought these were especially funny or at least entertaining. Plus one link at the very end to a remarkable and very cool video clip.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/SportsSturm\" target=\"_blank\">@SportsSturm<\/a> (Bob Sturm):<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>And now with more insight on the Tebow trade let&#8217;s bring in our NFL insider, Pat Robertson. Pat?<\/li>\n<li>I get home and my wife is watching the Bachelor. No dude in the history of the universe needs a cross checking quite like him.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/joshgroban\" target=\"_blank\">@joshgroban<\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>When I die instead of burial or cremation I wanna be chopped with avocado, is that unhealthy?<\/li>\n<li>Last nights solar flare changed the key of my dial tone, turned my electric toothbrush timer to &#8220;infinity&#8221; and set me up a hotmail account<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/Alyssa_Milano\" target=\"_blank\">@Alyssa_Milano<\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>~GROUPHUG~ Get in. The whole damn lot of you.<\/li>\n<li>Just pulled the mommy-move of peeing while holding the sleeping baby. You can file this tweet under &#8220;T&#8221; for &#8220;talent&#8221; &amp; &#8220;TMI&#8221;.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/alydenisof\" target=\"_blank\">@alydenisof<\/a> (Alyson Hannigan):<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>If I had invisibility as a super power I think I&#8217;d use it to sneak bites of people&#8217;s food at restaurants.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/QuiltingMuriel\" target=\"_blank\">@QuiltingMuriel<\/a> (Muriel B, 92 yrs old):<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>NY temp is 20 degrees, then 60, then snow, then 60. Mother Nature is finally going through menopause.<\/li>\n<li>I made a Trump joke and lost 10 followers. I can only assume they have very bad hair.<\/li>\n<li>Remember 2 turn back your clocks tonight. I&#8217;m going to try for 30 yrs. \ud83d\ude42<\/li>\n<li>Yes, and I&#8217;m sorry I ate the peppers. It&#8217;s all moot. RT @TomDahn Ron Paul: I Would Not Have Ordered Bin Laden Raid<\/li>\n<li>I don&#8217;t like the term &#8220;ripe&#8221; old age. Sounds like I&#8217;m getting soft and too mushy. Oh, wait&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Time is precious. I&#8217;m at the point now if a young salesgirl is on her phone &amp; ignores me, I just start putting items in my purse.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/michaelmuhney\" target=\"_blank\">@michaelmuhney<\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>My daughter tells me 10 times a day, &#8220;I love you Daddy.&#8221; About twice a day she says, &#8220;Daddy, I farted on you.&#8221; #prettyGOODratio<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/OldSpice\" target=\"_blank\">@OldSpice<\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Should we form our own political party? Key platforms: chicken-fried lobster 4 all, dinosaurs in the military &amp; more explosion-related jobs.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/alyankovic\" target=\"_blank\">@alyankovic<\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>While I think it\u2019s unlikely that we\u2019re the only forms of life in the universe, I\u2019m pretty sure we\u2019re the only ones that deep-fry Twinkies.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/juliebenz\" target=\"_blank\">@juliebenz<\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I have a window seat&#8230;ugh! I will be the one giving climb-over lap dances today.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/TheTweetOfGod\" target=\"_blank\">@TheTweetofGod<\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I believe meat is murder. And that vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/katesmithlaw\" target=\"_blank\">@katesmithlaw<\/a> (Kate Smith, a friend and local attorney):<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>So, it is now legal to carry a concealed handgun into a bar in Ohio. No one order shots!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/GUBLERNATION\" target=\"_blank\">@gublernation<\/a> (Matthew Gray Gubler):<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a0How funny would it be if the statue of liberty was really just the slowest Trojan horse ever.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/wfaaweather\" target=\"_blank\">@wfaaweather<\/a> (Pete Delkus, last August):<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>i&#8217;m trying to figure out the forecast for tomorrow. i&#8217;m thinking about going with HOT. i hope it&#8217;s accurate.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/GarretDillahunt\" target=\"_blank\">@GarretDillahunt<\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Finding myself strangely attracted to @missmoronmagnet&#8230;.wait.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/Razor5Hole\" target=\"_blank\">@Razor5Hole<\/a> (Daryl Reaugh):<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>This is awesome &#8211; \u201c@wyshynski: New Puck Daddy: Video: Watch 25,003 stuffed animals fly in a hockey rink <a href=\"http:\/\/yhoo.it\/scTw8x\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/yhoo.it\/scTw8x<\/a>\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div>Let&#8217;s call this a cheerful start to a good week, &#8216;kay?<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last thing on Sunday night I thought I&#8217;d share some of my favorite tweets. I thought these were especially funny or at least entertaining. Plus one link at the very end to a remarkable and very cool video clip. @SportsSturm (Bob Sturm): And now with more insight on the Tebow trade let&#8217;s bring in our [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/originalorknot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/originalorknot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/originalorknot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/originalorknot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/originalorknot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=104"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/originalorknot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":944,"href":"https:\/\/originalorknot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104\/revisions\/944"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/originalorknot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/originalorknot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/originalorknot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}